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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Amy Dickinson has the lead, Peter, she has three points. Roy Blount, Jr., has two. Tom Bodett, one.

SAGAL: All right. Tom, you are in third place, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Labor Department announced that in June, 3.8 million blanks were created, the most in 4 years.

TOM BODETT: Jobs.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Memorials were held around the world for the victims of the shooting at a Sikh temple last weekend in blank.

BODETT: Milwaukee.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Food prices are expected to surge worldwide because of the blank hitting the U.S.

BODETT: The drought.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A six year old boy from Salt Lake City who'd suffered from breathing problems was finally diagnosed with blank.

BODETT: Oh, I could have diagnosed it. He had Legos up his nose.

SAGAL: Close, he had a toy rubber wheel. We'll give it to you, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: Wait, wasn't there a kid with Legos up his nose in the news?

SAGAL: Maybe it was...

BODETT: Every week there's a...

AMY DICKINSON: In your house.

BODETT: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A Wisconsin teen thanked his quote "abnormally fast thumbs" for helping him win this week's national blanking championships in New York.

BODETT: The texting.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Alaska Airlines came under fire after a passenger noticed a damaged area of the wing along with a blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BODETT: Oh, a screaming demon, like that one in "Twilight Zone."

SAGAL: Yes.

BODETT: Clawing parts from the engine.

SAGAL: That would have been cool. No, he looked out the window. He saw a damaged area of the wing and a note written next to it saying "we know about this."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Alaska Airlines apologized, says the plane was totally safe, but the note was inappropriate. They also apologized for the sign at the front of the plane that said "if the cockpit's a rockin' don't come a knockin'"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Also inappropriate. Carl, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KASELL: Tom had five correct answers, for ten more points. He now has 11 points, and Tom has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Tom, all right.

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Ain't going to make it.

SAGAL: Roy, you're up next. Fill in the blank, Roy. On Monday, the prime minister of blank fled that country and defected.

ROY BLOUNT JR: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After her shooter pled guilty on Tuesday, former congresswoman blank said she was satisfied with the deal.

JR: Gabby Giffords.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week President Obama and Mitt Romney said that they disagree with the Boy Scouts' policy of excluding blank members.

JR: Gay.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Texas man survived driving his truck off a cliff just moments after he blanked.

JR: I shouldn't be texting so much.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: He sent a text message saying "I need to quit texting because I could die in a car accident." He didn't die and now he's a spokesman against texting while driving. American Athlete Ashton Eaton laid claim himself be the greatest athlete on earth by easily winning the gold medal in blank.

JR: Decathlon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Admitting no wrongdoing, blank paid a $22 million fine for violating user's privacy.

JR: Google.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in England had to be rescued from his apartment after accidentally started a fire by blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JR: Rubbing two sticks together.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He lit a fire by drying his underpants in the microwave.

JR: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Neighbors heard the smoke alarm going off and they burst in and they found a microwave filled with flaming underpants.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It turns out that the preset button on the outside, the little picture, it's popcorn.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He didn't know.

JR: That's a good public service thing we've done here.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JR: So other people won't do that as much.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Roy had six correct answers, for 12 more points. He now has 14 points, and Roy has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Roy.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, so, we're shifting leads back and forth. It's exciting. How many then does Amy Dickinson need to win?

KASELL: Six correct answers.

SAGAL: Here we go, Amy, this is for the game. This week, U.S. regulators accused the British bank Standard Chartered of breaking sanctions and laundering $250 billion from blank.

DICKINSON: From Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Rafalca, the 15 year old dressage horse owned by the wife of blank, did not medal in the Olympics.

DICKINSON: That's correct.

SAGAL: Owned by the...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Owned by the wife of...

JR: His name is not blank.

DICKINSON: Oh, Mitt Romney. Sorry.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Revenging itself on the team that beat it in last year's World Cup, the U.S. women's blank team won a gold medal.

DICKINSON: Soccer.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

DICKINSON: Woo.

SAGAL: A Florida couple was charged with theft after the woman helped the man blank at a Wal-Mart.

DICKINSON: After the woman helped the man stuff something in his trousers.

SAGAL: Two computer hard drives, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The CDC issued new guidelines for dealing with a new super bug version of gonorrhea that is resistant to all but one class of blank.

DICKINSON: Antibiotics.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This year, the Discovery Channel marked the 25th anniversary of its famous blank week programming.

DICKINSON: Shark Week.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week a new poll awarded the title "most unfortunate town name" to the town of blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

DICKINSON: Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

SAGAL: Close, it's on the list. But the winner was Toad Suck, Arkansas.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

JR: Oh.

BODETT: That's pretty bad. That even beat out Gnaw Bone, Indiana.

SAGAL: It did. The town is named, according to the proud Toad Suckers, it was named for boaters who used to go to a local tavern. And the locals would say, "oh they suck on the bottle there until they swell up like toads.

JR: Oh.

SAGAL: Toad Suck. That means another year of heartache for residents of Assawoman, Maryland, Loveladies, New Jersey and Monkey Eyebrow, Kentucky.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Amy do well enough to win?

KASELL: She needed six correct answers to win, and she had six correct answers. So, with 15 points, Amy Dickinson is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: That was hard.

SAGAL: But you did it.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.