Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
4:43 pm
Fri August 17, 2012

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat August 18, 2012 8:56 am

Copyright 2014 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill Kurtis, could you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Luke and Faith are tied with two. Paula, you have four.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Wow. All right, we have flipped a coin. Faith has elected to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Faith, fill in the blank.

All across the country on Wednesday, tens of thousands of young blanks applied to legally live and work in the U.S.

FAITH SALIE: Illegal immigrants.

SAGAL: Yes, undocumented immigrants as well.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A NATO coalition spokesman said Thursday that they are investigating the crash of a NATO helicopter in blank.

SALIE: Afghanistan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday it was announced that the keynote speaker at the Republican National Convention will be blank.

SALIE: Chris Christie.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a speech this week, a government minister in India told his staff quote "If you work hard, put your heart and soul into it, then blank.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Pray.

SAGAL: No, he said if you work hard and you put your heart and soul into your government job, then you were allowed to steal some.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Actor Ron Palillo, best known for his role as Arnold Horshack on the TV show blank died Tuesday at age 63.

SALIE: "Welcome Back, Kotter."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, President Obama made a congratulatory call to the engineers and scientists behind the successful landing of the blank.

SALIE: Mars rover.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week the hundred million dollar security system at JFK airport in New York was breached by blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SALIE: A jet skier.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It was really a drunk dude on a jet ski. So Daniel Castillo's jet ski broke down when he was racing and drinking with his buddies out there. So he swam to the closest land. It happened to be Runway 4-Left at JFK. He got to shore, climbed an eight-foot high fence, walked past motion detectors and security cameras, crossed two runways while wearing a bright yellow life vest.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And eventually flagged down a Delta employee for help and was arrested. When asked why no one noticed him before he basically tapped them on the shoulder, guards explained that they already had their hands full tackling the lady trying to smuggle in five ounces of shampoo onto a flight in Terminal 2.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Faith got six right, for a total of 12 more points. And with 14, Faith has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Faith.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: All right, Faith.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Luke, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Thursday Mitt Romney told reporters that he's paid at least 13% in blank every year for the past ten years.

LUKE BURBANK: Taxes.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: When the ban on early investors and insiders selling their stock expired Thursday, the price of blank shares fell dramatically.

BURBANK: Facebook.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the former prime minister of blank who defected last week said the government regime is close to collapse.

BURBANK: Syria.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an interview with "Vogue" magazine this week, former first daughter blank hinted she may some day run for office.

BURBANK: Chelsea.

SAGAL: Yes, Clinton.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two Minnesota men caught breaking into and vandalizing a high school said they were just blanking.

BURBANK: Joking.

SAGAL: No, they said they were, quote, "taking a stroll down memory lane."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week the Department of Agriculture declared more than half of the counties in the U.S. disaster areas because of the blank.

BURBANK: Drought.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Musicians and fans gathered in Memphis this week to mark the 35th anniversary of the death of blank.

BURBANK: Elvis.

SAGAL: Yes, Presley.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Zoo officials in Germany are searching for a kangaroo that escaped thanks to help from blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BURBANK: The internet.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Can a kangaroo Google? No. The kangaroo escaped with help from a fox and a wild boar.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's how it worked. The fox snuck into the zoo and dug a hole beneath a fence inside the zoo. The boar dug a similar hole under another fence and then they hung a poster of a kangaroo pin-up girl to cover it up.

BURBANK: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The kangaroo made a break for it through the two tunnels, and would have escaped if it hadn't been turned in by the mastermind of the plot, a rabbit who thought he was freeing his dream girl.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill?

KURTIS: Here we go.

SAGAL: How did Luke do?

BURBANK: There's a shiny penny in it for you.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Luke got six right, for a total of 12 more points. And with 14 points, Luke and Faith are tied for the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Here is the only math question of the night. How many does Paula need to win?

KURTIS: How many does Paula need to win?

SAGAL: How many does Paula need to win?

KURTIS: Five to tie and six to win outright.

SAGAL: Oh my gosh. OK, Paula, this is for the game. Fill in the blank.

BURBANK: Don't choke.

SAGAL: On Thursday, Ecuador announced it would be granting asylum to Wikileaks founder blank.

POUNDSTONE: Assange.

SAGAL: Yes, Julian Assange.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, CNN's Candy Crawley became the first woman named as a moderator for a blank in 20 years.

POUNDSTONE: Presidential debate.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: NBC drew criticism for cutting performances by Ray Davies of the Kinks and Muse during the closing ceremonies of the blank.

POUNDSTONE: Olympics.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a CDC report released this week, Mississippi has the highest blank rate, while Colorado has the lowest.

POUNDSTONE: Mississippi has the highest obesity rate.

SAGAL: Yes, it does.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Massachusetts Minor League Baseball game was delayed on Monday on account of blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: A moose on the field.

SAGAL: No, a repo man repossessed all the team's balls and bats.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The Worchester Tornadoes were in debt to a vendor. When they didn't pay, the repo man showed up at game time. He took the balls, bats, equipment, office furniture, anything that wasn't nailed down. The Worchester Tornadoes played anyway, and managed, even without any equipment, to beat their opponent, the Boston Red Sox.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, did Paula Poundstone do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Paula got five right, for ten more points. She has 14, which means we have a three-way tie. Congratulations to Paula, Faith and Luke.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.