Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
8:16 am
Sat September 15, 2012

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Roxanne has four. Charlie has three. P. J. has two.

SAGAL: OK, so that means, P. J., you are in third place. You go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Obama called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to discuss Iran's blank.

P. J. O'ROURKE: Nuclear program.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Rumors were rampant after Xi Jingping, the vice president of blank disappeared for over a week.

O'ROURKE: China.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Although Anonymous, the hacker group, claimed responsibility, web hosting company blank said that this week's web outages were not caused by any attack.

O'ROURKE: Google.

SAGAL: No, GoDaddy. NASA released multiple self portraits that were sent back to Earth this week by the blank.

O'ROURKE: Apollo mission. Oh, no, no, the Mars rover. I'm sorry. Curiosity.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You're the scorekeeper. What do we do about that?

KURTIS: Well, I would accept it.

SAGAL: You would?

KURTIS: Neil Armstrong, you know, confused us with...

O'ROURKE: Right.

SAGAL: You're a kind man.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

O'ROURKE: Us older guys...

SAGAL: A new study in the journal Pediatrics says that it's fine for parents to just let babies blank while trying to fall asleep.

O'ROURKE: Cry.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: David Letterman, Led Zeppelin and Dustin Hoffman were among those chosen to receive blank this year.

O'ROURKE: Free funeral plots.

SAGAL: No, Kennedy Center honors. Police in Quebec say they're on hunt for thieves who somehow made of with 10 million pounds of blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'ROURKE: Canadians.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, 10 million pounds of maple syrup. It's the largest maple syrup heist ever in the history of hilarious things to happen in Canada.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Yeah.

SAGAL: The question is how in the world do you profit from stolen maple syrup? Are there underground pancake houses?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If someone offers to buy your car, say, for sixty gallons of maple syrup, make sure they came by that syrup legally. Bill, how did P. J. do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got four right. He now has ten for the lead.

O'ROURKE: Ten.

SAGAL: Well done, all right.

(APPLAUSE)

O'ROURKE: Why do I have a feeling that won't last?

SAGAL: Charlie, I believe you are up next. Please fill in the blank. On Tuesday House Speaker John Boehner said he is not confident that Congress can reach a deal on the blank.

CHARLIE PIERCE: The debt ceiling, fiscal cliff Armageddon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Some Apple customers were upset on Wednesday at the announcement that the new blank won't be compatible with previous chargers.

PIERCE: Whatever the new iPhone number is, 5, 12 or whatever. .

SAGAL: It's 5, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Navy opened an investigation into the death of a detainee being held at blank this week.

PIERCE: Guantanamo.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Beef Products Incorporated filed a $1.2 billion lawsuit against ABC over its reports on the lean finely textured beef product also known as blank.

PIERCE: Pink slime.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: New Yorker Josh Sankey will be the first American to attempt to travel across the country using only blank.

PIERCE: Bacon.

SAGAL: Yes, as money.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a study released this week...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It'll work.

O'ROURKE: How'd you know that, Charlie?

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: Because I made it as far as Illinois once.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The guy is trying to break Charlie's record

This week scientists announced that they have discovered a new species of blank living in the forests of the Congo.

PIERCE: Monkey.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A gas leak that shut down a neighborhood in Stockholm this week turned out to be blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: P. J., you want to take this one?

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: I tell you, it would be a total violation of...

PIERCE: No, it turned out to be like an entire big pot of herring.

SAGAL: Yes, a bucket of fermented herring.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The bucket of herring is a delicacy called Surstromming and sure, it might sound gross...

PIERCE: Oh yeah.

SAGAL: But in Sweden, it's not a party if your house doesn't smell like somebody just died.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Neighbors who thought they smelled gas, called police, who responded with what is called a Code 506. In Sweden it means, Nuisance Caused by Deliciousness.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Charlie do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Charlie got seven, for 14 more points. He now has 17 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Here's the math question. How many does Roxanne need to win?

KURTIS: Roxanne needs seven to win.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: It's going to be tough.

SAGAL: Here we go, Roxanne, this is for the game. On Thursday, the Federal Reserve announced a new blank package intended to boost the economy.

ROBERTS: Buying mortgage bonds financial package.

SAGAL: Yeah, we'll call it that.

ROBERTS: Stimulus.

SAGAL: Stimulus package, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Defense Secretary Leon Panetta said this week that the Navy SEAL who published an account of the raid on blank could be punished.

ROBERTS: Osama bin Laden.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a move to prevent obesity, on Thursday, New York City went ahead and passed that ban on blanks over 16 ounces.

ROBERTS: Supersized drinks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After Mark Zuckerburg outlined his strategic vision at a conference this week, blank stock rose.

ROBERTS: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Denver Broncos fans with tickets in Section 306 say that football games just aren't fun anymore because blank.

ROBERTS: In 306?

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm sorry. You have to make sure of the section before you give your answer. I understand.

ROBERTS: Just not fun anymore because Tebow is not there.

SAGAL: No, because the pigeons in the rafters keep pooping on them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: With their highest ratings - or maybe it's Tebow. We don't know.

ROBERTS: I think it's Tebow.

SAGAL: With the highest ratings for a syndicated talk show debut in a ten years, blank's show premiered on ABC Monday.

ROBERTS: Oh, Katie, Katie, Katie.

SAGAL: Yes, Katie Couric.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Hustler Magazine founder Larry Flynt took out ads last Sunday promising to pay one million dollars to whoever shows him Mitt Romney's blank.

ROBERTS: Tax returns.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Miami Beach who broke into a car, stole a credit card and then tried to buy a beer at a nearby bar was busted when blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

ROBERTS: When it turned out that the bartender was the owner of the credit card.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The bartender recognized his own name.

O'ROURKE: You are good.

SAGAL: She is good.

O'ROURKE: She's good.

SAGAL: The bartender recognized his own name and credit card number, and it didn't take him long for him to bust Weber for fraud, because quote "his signature wasn't like mine at all. I suspected immediately it wasn't me."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, she needed seven. She got seven.

SAGAL: I told you.

KURTIS: She won, with 18.

O'ROURKE: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.

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