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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link at our website, waitwait.npr.org.

Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

MICHAEL DICKMAN: Hi, this is Michael Dickman from Fort Wayne, Ind.

SAGAL: How are things in Fort Wayne, Michael?

DICKMAN: We're doing pretty good. A little cold, but all good.

SAGAL: I'm glad to hear. We're so glad to hear from you because these people are nuts.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So what do you do there in Fort Wayne?

DICKMAN: I'm a registered behavior technician, which is fancy for I work with young men with autism, working on social skills and how to do simple life skills.

SAGAL: Oh, that's important. That's good work.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Michael, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in the last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Are you ready to play?

DICKMAN: Let's do this.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: I'm done with my voting adventures, sunk my teeth in incumbent court benchers. Now my pearly whites have been found at the site. I must have forgotten my...

DICKMAN: Dentures.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Note to our listeners in Portland, Maine - be on the lookout for a man or woman wearing a I voted pin with a sort of hollow look around their mouth. A pair of dentures was found on Tuesday at a polling site in an unmarked plastic bag.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I don't know anything about the owner of the teeth other than, for them, voting is a dentures-out activity.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So if you are listening to this show and you are having trouble gnashing your teeth in frustration, you can pick up your teeth at the city clerk's office in Portland.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: That morning face after I wake up is 'cause of my one-night stand breakup. But now there's an app to bypass my trap. It shows me without any...

DICKMAN: Makeup.

KURTIS: Yes, makeup.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Hey, you're OK.

SAGAL: There is a new app available that promises to show you what your face looks like without any makeup on. It saves you the hassle of having to look in a mirror.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: Wait, hold on a second. It shows you what you look like or what the other person looks like?

SAGAL: Well, actually it shows you - the idea is that it shows you - if you take a photograph, presumably of a woman, and you put it in the app, it will show you what that woman looks like without makeup.

JOHN HODGMAN: And it's always just a picture of John Hodgman for some reason.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

HODGMAN: A little buzz marketing scheme I've got going.

SAGAL: It's brilliant. It's called MakeApp. That's also what they call makeup in Boston.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was designed by a man to figure out what women looked like naturally. He conceived of the app after being burned by his girlfriend who turned out to be a mop wearing glasses, foundation and lip liner.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's how it works. You take a photo of someone. You upload it to the app. It uses algorithms to strip off whatever layers of makeup it perceives and guesses at that person's natural look. But be careful - if you use a photo of someone wearing no makeup at all, you'll end up with a skull.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's your last limerick.

KURTIS: When uncooked bacteria kick in, this raw food is likely to sicken. The last thing we need is drumsticks in seaweed. This sushi is made with raw...

DICKMAN: Chicken.

SAGAL: Yes, chicken.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Chicken sashimi puts the mm in salmonella.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Is it salmon or salmonella?

SAGAL: It could be. When it started in Japan, it was a way to trick people into eating raw poultry. No, it's chicken sushi. Trust me. It's made its way to the U.S. The chicken is not entirely raw. It's cooked for 10 seconds then presented in - just like fish sashimi. But unlike ordinary sushi, raw chicken gives you the opportunity to enjoy your meal over and over and over again.

(LAUGHTER)

HODGMAN: There's an app where you can point it at raw chicken, and it shows you what it will look like cooked.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

HODGMAN: And you're like, why don't I just have that?

SAGAL: Bill, how did Michael do on our quiz?

KURTIS: I didn't think he could do it, but he got them all right.

SAGAL: He did. He did. He did.

KURTIS: Three and oh.

HODGMAN: That's great.

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing, Michael.

(SOUNDBITE OF WERNER THOMAS' "CHICKEN DANCE") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.