Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
3:53 pm
Fri July 20, 2012

Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org, there you can find out about attending our weekly live shows at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago.

You can also check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast from the producers of WAIT WAIT. This week we tell you how to zombie-proof your car. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

HEATHER SHEPPERD: Hi. My name is Heather Shepperd.

SAGAL: Hi, where you from, Heather?

SHEPPERD: Monterey, California.

SAGAL: Oh Monterey is beautiful.

SHEPPERD: Yes, I love it.

SAGAL: What do you do there?

SHEPPERD: I am an Army housewife.

SAGAL: That's a tough life, I'm told. You have to move around a lot.

SHEPPERD: Yeah, yeah, but it's not too bad. I like it.

SAGAL: Where is your husband based?

SHEPPERD: In Monterey.

SAGAL: That's not hard duty.

SHEPPERD: No, it's awful. It's horrible. I can't stand it.

SAGAL: Really? Welcome to the show, Heather. Now Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: In this heat wave I might stand a chance. I wear shorts and adopt a wide stance. It seems a good rule to keep privates cool. So I put an AC in my?

SHEPPERD: Pants.

SAGAL: Yes, in your pants.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The Kuchofuku Air Conditioned Cooling system is air conditioning for your pants. Tiny fans direct cooling streams of air at your legs and your other places, but they also produce a constant whirring sound that can cause the trousers to inflate and quote "puff up like the Michelin Man."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: When boaters roar out past the piers, a submarine noise cloud appears. Though whales have no hands we now understand they manage to plug up their?

SHEPPERD: Ears.

SAGAL: Yes, ears.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to marine biologists, whales have learned to plug their ears to disruptive and annoying sounds make by humans - ship engines, sonar, "Call Me Maybe" covers.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not the original, that's good. Whales like Carly Rae Jepsen.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They don't like the cover.

(LAUGHTER)

JESSI KLEIN: Wow. You just made a whale sound.

SAGAL: Scientists aren't sure how the whales are doing this, short of stuffing flounders in their ears, which is hard to do because the whales have little fins. Do they actually have to like wait until the flounder is lying down and then whack their head against the flounder...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...hard enough so the flounder gets stuck. They they've got to find another flounder and do it again on the other side. And then you've got to be careful how you swim because if you turn your head, the flounder will fall out and you have to do it all over again.

Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: When commuting from near or a-far, we have coffee right here where we are. One more demitasse and I'm ready to pass. It's espresso made right in my?

SHEPPERD: Car.

SAGAL: Yes, car.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Fiat has created the first car with an onboard espresso machine. Fiat says the coffee maker will sit in the console between the driver and the passenger seats in the new Fiat 500L model. This of course raises the question, how are you supposed to text and make coffee at the same time?

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Do they write your name wrong on your cup in your Fiat car?

SAGAL: Do you get that? Jessi, J-E-S-S-I, do you get that a lot?

KLEIN: No, never. No, I mean if someone - if I can get a Jennifer, I'm lucky.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Usually I get just like Lucille.

BRIAN BABYLON: Mark, we have your latte, Mark.

KLEIN: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Boy, people spell Frankenstein with no trouble at all.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Heather do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, Heather had three correct answers. So, Heather, I'll be doing the message on your home answering machine or voicemail.

SAGAL: Well done.

SHEPPERD: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And thanks for playing.

SHEPPERD: Thank you so much.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

SHEPPERD: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.

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