Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
11:58 am
Sat June 8, 2013

Limericks

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows this August in Asheville, North Carolina and Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts. And please - oh yeah, whoo.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And you can check out the latest how to do everything podcast. This week Mike and Ian tell you how to say the longest word in the German language. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

JULIO: Hello. This is Julio from Chicago, Illinois.

SAGAL: Hey, Julio, how are you?

(APPLAUSE)

JULIO: Hello, everyone.

SAGAL: What do you do here in Chicago?

JULIO: I am a baker. I bake for a French bakery here in Chicago.

SAGAL: How awesome. I remember - and I spend some time in France - and they take their bakery damn seriously.

JULIO: Well, I wouldn't know because I've never been...

SAGAL: Really?

JULIO: But I studied in the French way, so I know how to do all that sorts of stuff. I just can't speak a lick of French.

P.J. O'ROURKE: Baking is a language all its own.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JULIO: Exactly.

O'ROURKE: I talk donut.

(LAUGHTER)

JULIO: Now are you baking, like, the French breads or the French patisserie, the pastries?

I do the breads. I do stuff like baguettes and ciabattas and sourdoughs.

SAGAL: Wow. And do you have to have a certain sort of French attitude of contempt for everyone?

(LAUGHTER)

JULIO: If I did I would not get far in this career, no.

SAGAL: I think that's actually the way you need to go. I think you need to be convinced that your stuff is too good for the people eating it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Julio. It's great to have you. Bill Kurtis is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go?

JULIO: I am so ready.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: To march with the sexy elite, I don't have to watch what I eat, I just have to use some oversized shoes, because our men really go for big...

JULIO: Feet.

SAGAL: Right. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to a study of the Karo Batak people of Indonesia, men and women in that culture with extra large feet are the most sexy. Think 36-24-36-13EE.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: We've learned so much this week.

SAGAL: We really have, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: To the dentist we Brits do not rush, it's a trope we're unwilling to crush. We hate to wear braces for that would disgrace us and millions of us rarely...

JULIO: Brush.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: So attention, this goes out to everybody who writes in to complain about our British teeth jokes. We were right all along.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A new study from the British Dental Health Foundation proves two things. There is something called the British Dental Health Foundation...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...and 28 percent of British people do not brush their teeth regularly. Another 40 percent said: Teeth? I vaguely remember having teeth.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: When engaged in a tough verbal bout, it's imperative not to show doubt. I'm most likely to win when I cause a great din. I'm more righter the louder I...

JULIO: Shout.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So do you want to know how to win an argument? Well, according to new research, the best way is to shout louder than anyone else. Apparently, people assume you know what you're talking about if you're confident enough to shout it loudly. Asked how they could prove the results, the researchers said: We don't have to prove the results!

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is a strategy used to good effect by many people you used to be married to.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Julio do?

KURTIS: Well, just like his baking, he was perfect.

SAGAL: Well done.

KURTIS: Three for three.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations.

JULIO: Oh, (unintelligible). Bye-bye.

KURTIS: Thanks, Julio.

SAGAL: Well done, Julio. Thanks for playing.

JULIO: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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