My step into motherhood wasn’t that much different than most moms—lots of initial excitement and nervousness, followed by steady weight gain over the next nine months. But my first child wasn’t a cute little baby. I became an instant-mom to two teenagers instead.
My kids were a package deal when their dad came into my life. Now I never planned on having children. But these kids and this man? They were worth the exception. That being said, being a mom is a tough job year-round, and the holidays add an enormous amount of stress to already delicate relationships.
Growing up in a small town, everyone’s family celebrated the holidays pretty much the same way. Christmas Eve with one side of the family and Christmas Day with the other.
Every year, my family gathered at the grade school gym or the Boy Scout Lodge. With more than 70 relatives on each side of the family, there was no way we’d all fit into my grandparents’ house. Aunts and uncles cooked the same signature holiday treats every year, and we stuffed ourselves full while playing family games and singing Christmas carols.
To me, that was the perfect Christmas.
As a new mom, I had to figure out how to work my storybook Christmas traditions into a home where the holidays looked a little different every year. Most of my relatives had stayed in the same small town, but this new family I joined had extended family spread out all over the country. Sometimes Christmas was in Las Vegas with palm trees. Other times, the kids would spend Christmas Day with their mom and celebrate with dad later.
Traditions just didn’t hold the same importance.
Our first Christmas together started out like every other holiday, minus the trip to my small hometown. I started making dozens of my famous sugar cookies with cream cheese frosting. Everyone else washanging around the house, seemingly glued to the furniture or getting under foot in the kitchen. So, I suggested, “Hey, why don’t we decorate these cookies together? It’ll be fun!”
My idea was met with heavy eye rolls from both teenagers and their father, but my holiday cheer wouldn’t be denied. They gathered around the dining room table and started a cookie assembly line that would even make Keebler proud.
I picked up my phone and snapped photos of these three people I loved. They were covered in frosting and smiling on Christmas Eve.I stepped back into the kitchen to start dinner, and from the other room, I listened to them talk and joke and tease each other about the quality of their cookie decorating skills. I felt my heart swell a little.
After getting steaks on the grill and an oyster stew simmering, I popped my head back in the dining room. Every square inch of the table was covered with brightly-colored Christmas cookies.
But then I looked a little closer.
One ornament said, "Bite me," and a snowman had been turned into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Across the table, there appeared to be a panoramic scene of gingerbread gangsters killing each other with candy canes.Not to mention, their father thought it was funny to set each of his Christmas tree cookies on fire.
I took a deep breath as they proudly showed me their work. I tried to smile and squeaked out, "You know that I'm giving these to other people, right?" My co-workers, neighbors and friends had come to expect a plateful of beautifully decorated, melt-in-your-mouth holiday goodies.
Following the dead silence and three blank stares, their father finally said, "You mean we don't get to eat all of these?"
I guess that I shouldn't have been surprised by what happened. When we carved pumpkins for Halloween, our 13-year-old decided to skip the classic jack-o'-lantern. She personalized her pumpkin with the name of her favorite rapper. Her dad followed suit by carving “U SUCK” onto his pumpkin and putting their two masterpieces side-by-side.
That problem was relatively easy to fix. I just turned the pumpkins around! My front porch wasn’t going to make the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, but there was no harm done.
As for the cookies, we ate the ones that said, “Bite me,” and, “Suck it.” Then, I mixed burning Christmas trees and armed gingerbread men in with a few traditionally decorated reindeer and hoped no one would be the wiser. After all, this batch of sugar cookies tasted just as good as the perfectly piped candy canes and color coordinated cookies my social circle was used to receiving.
That was almost five years ago. Since then, we’ve purchased new cookie cutters and the kids cleaned up their language. Now, our family’s holiday tradition consists of decorating stormtroopers, ninjas and unicorns, along with Frosty the Snowman. Our cookies are far from picture-perfect, and we still eat more cookies than we give away.
I didn’t get the storybook Christmas that I had in mind. I got something even better.
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Ode is a storytelling series where community members tell true stories on stage to promote positive impact through empathy. It’s produced by Siouxland Public Media.
We’ll be hosting Ode’s 2nd Anniversary Show on Friday, February 2.
