Opening Panel Round

Mar 31, 2012
Originally published on March 31, 2012 12:52 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Brian, Mitt Romney has been trying and trying to make people forget that he is really rich.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: His task got a little tougher this week when we learned that the new house he's building for himself in California will come complete with a what?

BRIAN BABYLON: Elevator.

SAGAL: For?

BABYLON: For his four-car garage that has two stories and an elevator.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: He will have an elevator for his cars.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.

MAZ JOBRANI: Nice.

BABYLON: Yes.

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SAGAL: We know that Mr. Romney wants to help America to rise again, so he is starting with his pair of Cadillacs.

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SAGAL: The blueprints for his planned mansion in California reveal a massive basement, bigger than the house itself. That will complement Mr. Romney's primary residence, which is in a hollowed out volcano.

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SAGAL: And there will be an elevator to whisk the cars to and from their luxurious underground garage, as well as a car bathroom, a car library and an adorable car nursery, painted with little blue and pink mufflers.

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SAGAL: What is it like to be an elevator with a car? Are cars like us in an elevator? Do they sit with the headlights facing the front?

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BABYLON: Yeah, they fake text.

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SAGAL: Yeah.

They don't make eye contact.

BABYLON: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: It's awkward. Usually when the doors open and there's a car in there, you go, "you go ahead."

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SAGAL: And then if somebody emits some exhaust in there, you just got to go.

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