Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
7:28 pm
Fri September 13, 2013

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat September 14, 2013 11:32 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players now has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL ANNOUNCER: Mo Rocca and Faith Salie are tied for first. Each has three points. P.J. O'Rourke has two.

SAGAL: OK. P.J., you are pulling up the rear, so you're going to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

P.J. O'ROURKE: You got it.

SAGAL: Satellite images raised concerns Wednesday that blank has restarted its plutonium production reactor.

O'ROURKE: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, House Speaker John Boehner said he wanted to resume negotiations on raising the government's blank.

O'ROURKE: Debt limit.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Twitter confidentially filed paperwork Thursday for its highly anticipated blank.

O'ROURKE: IPO.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The doctor for Germany's soccer team ran out to help an injured player and accidentally blanked.

O'ROURKE: Twerked.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: How can anybody? No, he ran out on the field, tore a muscle in his leg which made him fall down at which point he broke his finger.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Civil rights leaders were disappointed this week by the resignation of Ben Jealous, the head of the blank.

O'ROURKE: NAACP.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With the wrecking crew on its way, a man in Michigan...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...saved his house from demolition when he blanked.

O'ROURKE: Twerked.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Switched house numbers with the house next door.

(SOUNDBITE OF SURPRISE)

O'ROURKE: Good. Very good.

SAGAL: Some quick thinking and a questionable moral code saved his house and got the house next door destroyed instead. Even better, the house next door was in bad shape, so everybody in the neighborhood was happy to see it go. As for the guy who managed to escape having his own house from being knocked down by switching the numbers, he merely said, meep meep and ran off into the desert.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did P.J. do in our quiz?

ANNOUNCER: P.J. had four correct answers for eight more points. He now has 10 points and P.J. has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, P.J.

(APPLAUSE)

O'ROURKE: I don't think ten's a winning score here.

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin and Mo has elected to go second. Here we go, Mo, fill in the blank. Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer both came up short in the primary held this week in blank.

MO ROCCA: In New York City.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After his trip to North Korea, Dennis Rodman revealed that blank's baby daughter was named Ju-Ae.

ROCCA: Kim Jung Un's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An entire town near Boulder, Colorado found itself completely cut off because of blank caused by a storm Thursday.

ROCCA: Flooding.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new report says that men in Dubai are the worst offenders when it comes to lying about the size of their blanks.

ROCCA: Oh gosh, the size of their sabers?

SAGAL: No, the size of their skyscrapers.

ROCCA: OK.

SAGAL: Warner Brothers announced Thursday that J.K. Rowling has agreed to write a screenplay set in the same world as blank.

ROCCA: Harry Potter.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After an investigation into vote rigging in elections in the Maldives...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...police arrested a blank.

ROCCA: Oh gosh, an absentee voter - a ballot.

SAGAL: No. They arrested a coconut.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The coconut, described as quote, "young," was found loitering near a polling station, leading workers to conclude the coconut was part of a black magic scheme to rig the election. A magician summoned by police established the coconut was innocent - this is true. But still, there was something suspicious about the way the coconut then got up, said I told you you had the wrong fruit, and flew away.

(LAUGHTER)

FAITH SALIE: That's bananas.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Mo do on our quiz?

ANNOUNCER: Mo had four correct answers for eight more points. He now has 11 points and Mo has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right. So...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And keeping in mind we're dealing with a woman who studies hard because she likes to do well on tests. How many does Faith need to win?

ANNOUNCER: Four to tie, five to win outright.

SAGAL: All right.

O'ROURKE: It's yours to lose, Faith.

SALIE: OK, everybody, no pressure.

SAGAL: Here we go, Faith, fill in the blank for the game. A car bomb hit the Foreign Ministry building in blank on the first anniversary of the attack on the U.S. consulate there.

SALIE: Benghazi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Prince William announced on Thursday that he is ending his career in the blank.

SALIE: Military.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Michelle Obama was criticized this week for her new initiative encouraging people to drink more blank.

SALIE: Water.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a six-alarm fire broke out Thursday, a stretch of boardwalk in New Jersey damaged previously by blank was engulfed in flames.

SALIE: Hurricane Sandy.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week officials in Iowa defended its practice of issuing gun permits to blank.

SALIE: To children.

SAGAL: To blind people.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Jimmy Kimmel revealed on his show this week that he was behind last week's viral video that shows a girl being injured while blanking.

SALIE: Twerking.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: AMC - if only you had gotten that question, P.J.

O'ROURKE: I know.

SAGAL: AMC announced plans this week for a prequel spinoff of the show blank starring lawyer Saul Goodman.

SALIE: Spinoff of "Breaking Bad."

SAGAL: Right, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man used the Lost and Found section of the Chico, California...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Craigslist to declare that he had blanked.

SALIE: He had lost his mind.

SAGAL: No. He took out an ad in Craigslist saying that he had possibly stolen someone's cat when he was drunk.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The man said he thought he was rescuing a stray kitten, but when he woke up, he realized that the stray was named Django and was wearing a collar. In his ad, he said, quote, "Django is a very frisky black cat, he also has very sleepy eyes and appears to be stoned, although I don't think he is. If Django belongs to you, I would like to give him back. I have been feeding him cheese all morning and I really don't want him to (bleep) all over my apartment. Thanks. And sorry for stealing him, on accident."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Faith do well enough to win?

ANNOUNCER: She had six correct answers for 12 more points, so with 15 points, Faith Salie is our champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: There you go, Faith. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists what Vladimir Putin's next op-ed column will be about. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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